He rhymes “purple TrapperKeeper” with “Ol’ Dirty Bastard T-shirt,” steals girls from thugs, warps the red alert buzzword “Jihad!” into an absurdist riff on the destruction of the Midwest milquetoast hierarchy — Abercrombie moms, Applebee’s as Hades, and the teetotalers who restrict beer sales on Sunday — and writes songs about drinking that are...

There's a Wal-Mart on Dr. M.L. King Jr. Boulevard here. And a Target, IHOP, Holiday Inn Express, Books-A-Million, Piggly Wiggly, Pepsi-Cola bottler (in this, the soft drink's birthplace), Applebee's, two Eckerds drugstores, three car dealerships and some 200 other businesses, large and small.

When 5-year old begins to laugh uncontrollably, mother get suspicious and says no more Long Island Iced Teas, junior.

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